You know the weight limit checked luggage has? 23kg per piece. 23 kilograms. How much of my life would fit in a 23kg piece of luggage?
I bought a big ass bag.
Seriously. I fit in it.
I tried sleeping in it, but it isn't as comfortable as it is big.
If I with my 65 kilos fit in my bag, then how much will it weigh once
I've filled it to the brim? Will it weigh 65kg? That's quite a pricy
overweight luggage fine. I should only fill it with lightweight stuff,
like socks. Let's keep the shampoo and rock collection aside for now.
So I started packing.
Shoes! Socks! Tops!
After I had filled my case with socks (and a few towels), I tried to lift it.
OH DEAR SO HEAVY
This was 80 kilos at least!
So I acquired a scale to check its weight.
10,1 KG
Oh, okay. It were just my arms being weak. Quite a surprise, as I'm able to do as much as six push-ups! For real, check it out:
So... This bag bursting out of its zippers...
Wait, 10,1 KG? Not even half of the limit? This thing was filled to the brim! Or to the zipper, if that's the expressions for luggage.
I was flabbergasted. People, what's this fuss about weight limit panic? It's not like I am taking too little with me – I got four pairs of shoes, and five pants!
I looked for more possessions to stuff in my bag. The unnecessary but not completely useless kind of things, you know. And the heavier the better.
"This rock would make a great paperweight."
I ended up packing stacks of printing paper, to not let the unused kilos go to waste.
As I child, I ate my boogers. Openly. Incessantly. Proudly.
My parents must have been desperate. They couldn't make me stop in
any way. My parents failed to figure out why I did this. Or why I even encouraged
other children to do it.
If they had known why, maybe they could
have stopped me. It all started with a penguin.
On a family trip to the zoo, we met this guy:
I asked why this new penguin had yellow
thingies on his head.
"That's spaghetti," my father said. "Yes," added my mother. "When he's starving, he can eat it."
Woa. How mesmerizing, the wonders of nature! A built-in food factory? Amazing!
It didn't take me long to realize that we, humans, also had such a food factory.
Finally I understood why my nose made icky boogers all the time! I was lacking food!
So I started eating my boogers. As nature had intended.
Day in, day out, my nose continued to provide boogers, signaling my lack of sufficient nutrition. I noticed boogers in other children's noses. Eager to save them from starvation, I convinced many, many fellow toddlers to join me eating the fruits of my immune system.
Too bad they didn't taste like spaghetti.
~Closing Note~
Yes, I did eventually realize that the penguin didn't carry spaghetti around. Moral of the story: don't listen to your parents.
