Didn't it go awfully quiet on that big
topic of climate change and drowning polar bears? The media doesn't
seem to care anymore about global warming and melting polar ice. Well, neither should you.
I think Al Gore gave us all a big scare
and then we were like “Meh, it's not that bad”. So I'm gonna tell
you why there's no reason to worry about this carbon-dioxide stuff.
1. You'll die an ordinary death
anyhow
When you're an old grandpa or grandma,
guess how you'll leave this earth? Diabetes or heart attack, that's
how. Nothing to do with global warming.
You ain't gonna get killed by huge hail
rains in a tropical storm or by the sting of a monstrous malaria
mosquito roaming the temperate climates. Where's the drama?
2. We'll run out of fossil fuels
soon
Ain't us burning coal and oil the cause
of this global warming thing? But we'll run out of those in a few
decades, so then the problem will fix itself. Remember how the ozone layer fixed itself?
 |
| Bummer. |
Polar caps melting means polar bears
drowning, but that's actually not a big deal. We got them in zoos, so
it's not like they will go extinct.
I just saw pictures of
the cutest twin polar bear cubs ever, born in some zoo somewhere. How
many polar bears on the Arctic have their cuteness uploaded to the
internet? They couldn't be less relevant to everyday life.
4. If it was really that serious,
somebody would do something about it
But instead, everyone kinda forgets
that we got an issue here, so it's probably not that threatening. Or urgent.
5. We still got the government
If it looks like we're gonna drown, the
government will simply build a sea dike with our taxpayers' money. If
it looks like we're melting in extreme heat, or freezing because the
polar vortex falls apart (or because we're not used to chilly weather anymore),
then they can distribute cooling fans or heaters respectively!
6. You can always move
What if the government fails to do so?
Still no problem.
It's not like you're Bill Gates, but you are still
well off enough to just move away when the climate starts to bother
you. Village getting flooded every week? Move higher up. Crazy
storms and tornadoes? The neighbouring country will do.
You are safe no matter what happens.
7. Global WARMING? Great, you never
liked the cold!
Global warming sounds like more bikinis
to me! Seriously, a summer short is way more comfortable than a ski
jacket. And soon we can get our tan during Christmas break, at home!
No more dying butterflies when winter
comes around, it's gonna be an eternity of sunshine and rose petals!
What's the downside again?
In short: don't worry, be happy!
